Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s divorce has turned into a PR war. But scrape back the layers — and “he said, she said” headlines — and it’s a pretty textbook celebrity breakup.
You don’t have to have covered Hollywood divorces for a long time — though we have — to know that there’s almost a checklist of how famous couples uncouple in the spotlight. For the Bennifer break up, the “revenge dress” stage has just been marked. In no time at all, they’ll be coupled up anew. (If he isn’t already?)
However, a PR expert says Affleck and Lopez “should put aside the carnage and pain from the past to align their messaging” because the back and forth spin — of who was at fault for the end of the two-year marriage — doesn’t “serve either side well.”
Celebrity breakups 101
If only multimillion-dollar weddings ensured “happily ever after” endings. Or in the case of Bennifer, two weddings. They don’t. Things happen. People move on. For celebrities, here’s generally what happens next:
They lawyer up. The race is on to see who secures celebrity divorce attorney Laura Wasser (who has previously repped Kim Kardashian and Kevin Costner in divorces) first. For Bennifer, they’re both using Wasser — as a mediator. (The exes don’t have a prenup.)
They release a breakup statement. It usually includes terms like “thoughtful consideration” and “great sadness.” When they don’t release a joint statement, like in Bennifer’s case after her abrupt divorce filing on their second anniversary, it shows they’re largely unaligned.
They launch PR campaigns to make sure messaging is in their favor. Sources close to the couple — unidentified as “insiders” in stories — spin their different sides of what went wrong to celebrity outlets, trying to swing public sympathy their client’s way. The narrative has been that Lopez was “done waiting” on Affleck to work on their marriage, and was “heartbroken” to have to file for divorce (on their second anniversary). His “giant mood swings” and “erratic behavior” made him impossible to deal with.
Sources on his side said he felt it was “drama all the time” with someone who can’t live out of the spotlight and he’s hoping for “a life of serenity and peace” as he moves on.
They use social media to ease back into the spotlight. An unbothered thirst trap helps, which Lopez nailed.
They make their first solo public appearances. Sometimes a “revenge dress” is worn, like Lopez’s showstopper at the Toronto International Film Festival. Or there’s a “breakover” when someone debuts a very different new look — in this case, Affleck’s brow-raising faux-hawk. (At least it wasn’t as permanent as his post-Jennifer Garner divorce Phoenix back tattoo.)
They start dating again. It could be someone from the past or someone new, but it tends to be a quick bounce back. Affleck has already been linked to Kick Kennedy, though his rep denied it. When Affleck and Lopez split the first time, in 2004, she married Marc Anthony within six months.
They give their first interviews. Usually it’s pretty formatted about looking ahead and moving on, but sometimes it’s about feeling “betrayed” or being in “hell.”
The legal part plays out — and the PR blitz remains in full swing until the divorce papers are signed and the money is split.
Where are Lopez and Affleck on the list?
Lopez was at the Toronto International Film Festival over the weekend promoting Unstoppable and not trying to fly under the radar as she channeled a very sexy disco ball.
The message was transmitted loud and clear as she rocked the heck out of the Tamara Ralph dress with skin-baring exposures from top to bottom: She’s putting one glamorous heel in front of the other and moving on, fabulously. It’s kismet that “Unstoppable” is the title of the film, when it’s also the message she’s trying to convey after her breakup.
Lopez told People “there was a discussion about whether I should or shouldn’t” wear the dress. “And I was like, f*** it,” Lopez, now on her fourth divorce, said with a laugh.
Oh, but there was more to this dress decision. Was it to also show that the Valentine’s Day 2023 infinity symbol tattoo that she got with Affleck on her ribcage was no more? Perhaps she just covered it up with makeup, but it was nowhere to be seen, making it an even bigger statement.
It was reported that Lopez and Affleck, who produced the film, worked out a deal through their handlers that he would not be in attendance. There were to be no awkward run-ins, similar to the arrangements to keep Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt apart at the Venice Film Festival.
The only things that seemed off-script are the images of Lopez clasping hands with Affleck’s best friend and business partner, Matt Damon, at the Unstoppable after-party during an apparent heart-to-heart. A source told People that Damon, who was there with his wife Luciana, and Lopez “had a long, deep conversation” that lasted 20 minutes.
Lopez’s appearance kicked off her press tour for the film — she’s been posting more of her different fashion looks on social media — showing she’s not letting a high-profile breakup come in the way of business. As for Affleck, he’s been in L.A. with his kids. His faux-hawk has been growing in.
Their rival PR teams continue to spin headlines. Her side wants the photos with Damon to keep being shared, with a source telling People that Lopez is “very close with Matt” and “enjoyed spending time” with him. Also that she’s “happy to be in the spotlight again because of work.” Lopez, who shared extensively about her relationship with Affleck in her newsletter, documentary and album, is “so over all the attention on her personal life. The film festival truly uplifted her.”
There’s also the dueling takes on the $68 million home they purchased and are now selling. An Affleck source said last week that he “never liked” the $68 million home, suggesting it was part of their undoing and the narrative that she lives a more lavish lifestyle than he does. In the same story, a Lopez source said the mansion “was Ben’s idea and a major compromise for her.”
“Unresolved bitterness” seems to be fueling war of words
Eric Schiffer of Reputation Management Consultants told Yahoo Entertainment the Bennifer breakup has been “surprising in its abrupt last implosion, tinged with a sense of unresolved bitterness melting atop a chamber of Ben and Jen’s secrets.”
Behind the scenes, he thinks their publicists and crisis PR teams are working overtime.
It’s “highly intense and strategic, a restless feeding of stories to reporters to aggressively shape their celebrity clients’ brands and protect against a fuselage of reputational pain,” he explained.
And, yes, these things are planned for in advance. While Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift said the circulating PR strategy to announce their split was fake, in general, “they exist, and when done right, they are highly detailed, strategic, and sophisticated,” said Schiffer.
“The stakes are sky-high with celebrity breakups because ‘winning’ powers public perception, translating into brand cold cash and opportunities with endorsements, roles, appearances, and brand goodwill and value,” Schiffer said.
Their brands already take monetary hits with their split. As a couple, “their combined value can be 3 to 10x their value individually.” As Bennifer, “their brands were far hotter … because of their quintessential history, public intrigue and mystique.”
If Schiffer was advising Lopez or Affleck, one thing he’d recommend is to keep any “new relationship private to give the public time to settle in with his past breakup.”
More importantly, “If Ben and Jen can, they should put aside the carnage and pain from the past to align their messaging because the confusing details, lack of a respectful ending, and likely difficult emotional impact on their children don’t serve either side well,” he added.
