Last week on The Masked Singer premiere, in what was declared a “Season 10 miracle,” judge Ken Jeong — who almost always gets it wrong — surprised everyone, including himself, by correctly guessing that Rubber Ducky was Black-ish actor Anthony Anderson.
Ken really did know exactly who this was… for once! And this week, a Season 10 miracle occurred for a second time.
Also last week, Ken had guessed that Diver was Vanderpump Rules villain Tom Sandoval, and he was roundly jeered by the doubting studio audience. This week, he doubled down on that guess, and while his fellow coaches Robin Thicke and Nicole Scherzinger thought the waterlogged bad boy might be Jersey Shore’s Pauly D or Pete Davidson, former Golden Ear trophy-winner Jenny McCarthy-Wahlberg actually agreed with Ken. “If we’re right, this will be two for Ken — which is insane!” Jenny gasped.
And insanity prevailed, when the eliminated Diver’s helmet came off the end of the night and Ken was vindicated yet again. The Diver was in fact the #Scandoval scoundrel.
Calling his Masked Singer two-episode run “so much fun” and a “healing experience” that allowed to him to “show the world I’m more than my mistakes,” the self-described “everyone’s favorite person to hate” added: “It was nice. I felt protected under the mask.”
Well, it only took TEN seasons for Ken Jeong to get in the game. We’ll see if he can pull off a threepeat victory on next Wednesday’s 2000s Night episode.
In the meantime, speaking of getting in the game, this Wednesday was NFL Night on The Masked Singer, and while Travis Kelce didn’t show up and no one covered Taylor Swift, Season 10’s Group A contestants all sang songs that have been performed at past Super Bowls. (Weirdly, of all the tunes to choose from, Sandoval did OneRepublic’s “I Ain’t Worried,” from that band’s appearance at a Super Bowl XLVII pregame tailgate party a decade ago.) There was also a new Wild Card contestant this week, the Pickle, to make the show extra-juicy.
Let’s review the surviving Group A contestants’ performances below, and try to score some touchdowns playing my favorite all-American game: guessing Masked Singer celebrities’ identities.
Cow, “Treasure”
Covering a tailgate-partystarter by two-time Super Bowl halftime performer Bruno Mars, this black-and-white-and-rad-all-over showman scored with a triumphant number that Jenny called “effortless” and “unbelievable.” Robin was certain that this was an A-list pop professional.
The clues: The Cow’s father was not around much when the Cow was a young calf, and he didn’t have a lot of male role models growing up in a “house of women.” We also saw a boxing glove, dance shoes (because he’s “known for his killer mooooves”), and a heart drawing. Past clues have included mentions of multiple Grammys and “hit after hit after hit,” the date July 4, a Las Vegas welcome sign, coffee, and a movie ticket.
Judges’ guesses: Trey Songz, Ne-Yo, Mario, Nelly, Jason Derulo.
My guess: Last week, based on the Cow’s soulful vocals, sassy personality, and gender-fluid bovine drag, I guessed this was Billy Porter. But this week, we found out that the Cow has calves — that is, he’s a parent of multiple children. So, that rules out Billy. Could this actually be my first gut-instinct guess… father of four and eight-time Grammy-winner Usher? The clues do add up. Usher was raised by his mother and grandma (his dad left the Raymond family when Usher was only age 1); he curated music for the Macy’s 4th of July fireworks show in 2022; he has a successful Vegas residency; he has recorded a duet with Black Coffee; and he did portray boxer Sugar Ray Leonard in the movie Hands of Stone. And of course, the man is a fantastic hoofer. Plus, Usher has obvious NFL ties, because he just signed up to play next year’s Super Bowl halftime show. All I know is, if this is Usher, then his halftime extravaganza better feature a herd of dancing, bipedal cattle in frilly gingham frocks.
Gazelle, “The One That Got Away”
Hopefully the Gazelle won’t be the one who got away this season, because I think she has a strong chance of trotting all the way to the finals. “You should be one of the biggest singers of all time — you are so incredibly talented! Breathtaking!” raved Jenny.
The clues: When she was young, Gazelle was pressured to change her name to fit in with the entertainment industry, but now she’s proud of her heritage. We saw a surfboard, a sign that said “Threat Level 3” (indicating this performer is a triple-threat), and a football with the word “villain.” Last week, we learned that Gazelle “crashed and burned” on a national talent show as a teen, and visual clues included a Hawaiian shirt, cheerleader pom-poms, and a movie soundtrack.
Judges’ guesses: Leighton Meester, Constance Wu, Auliʻi Cravalho.
My guess: I am sticking with my guess that this is Honolulu-born actress/singer/dancer Tia Carrere, whose birth name is Althea Rae Duhinio Janairo. Tia appeared on Star Search at age 18 but was eliminated during her first round; she played a cheerleader on Duck Dodgers and the villainess Juno Skinner in True Lies; and she has won two Grammys for Best Hawaiian Music Album. It has to be her!
S’More, “Moves Like Jagger”
Nicole said this “smooth” total-package performer “melted the stage” with his high-energy Maroon 5 cover. I have to say, this number was more exciting that Maroon 5’s actual performance at the Super Bowl LIII halftime show in 2019.
The clues: S’More was “born for the fearless life in the spotlight,” but his father discouraged him from pursuing a showbiz career and advised him to pass on a major opportunity. Later, he “conquered the Broadway stage” and finally made his dad proud. We also saw a gaming console and an orange, indicating that the S’More might hail from a Florida-bred boy band. (“I have tasted victory before, and it’s so sweet,” he said.) Last week, S’More said he “started off on a rocket to fame, a journey from obscurity to major heartthrob status in a matter of weeks,” and after “millions cheered him on step by step” and he “became a household name,” he traveled the world having adventures with his “fellow idols.” Previous visual clues included a Chicago pizza, a Christmas angel, and a can of soda.
Judges’ guesses: JC Chasez (hey, NSync’s Joey Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick have done this show, so why not?), Kevin Richardson (due to the S’More’s mustache), Simu Liu.
My guess: I still think this is Season 1 American Idol runner-up, Chicago and The Awakening of Angel DeLuna theater star, and Dr. Pepper spokes-mascot Justin “Lil’ Sweet” Guarini. The missed carrer opportunity he mentioned could be his pre-Idol decision to turn down a part in Broadway’s The Lion King. And Justin didn’t actually win Idol, of course, but placing second to Kelly Clarkson was still quite a victorious feat. Perhaps Justin can win The Masked Singer, something other Idol runners-up Katharine McPhee and David Archuleta were unable to pull off.
Pickle, “Pinball Wizard”
Just when it seemed like Cow, Gazelle, and S’More had a lock on Season 10’s competition, this cool cucumber showed up. He clearly wasn’t a professional singer, but I sure recognized that raspy voice, which Jenny mused was “so familiar!”
The clues: A very tall jolly green giant who was a “hyper-disruptive,” sports-obsessed “bad boy” growing up, Pickle has worked with Quentin Tarantino, Martin Short, and Martin Scorsese. He also boasted that he “gets paid a lot to talk.”
Judges’ guesses: Craig Kilborn, Dax Shepard, Conan O’Brien, Howard Stern.
My guess: There’s no mistaking who sang this Who song, based on the vocals alone. Even the distortion on his spoken voice couldn’t disguise his “big dill energy.” This Wild Card has to be 6-foot-2 comic actor Michael Rapaport — the wild-man star of the Tarantino-scripted True Romance and the Martin Short television series Only Murders in the Building — whose all-time favorite guest on his “I Am Rapaport” podcast has been Scorsese. Like Sandoval, I don’t think Rapaport will survive a second week, but for now this Pickle is having a ball.
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